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When clients from out of state recently inquired about a termite inspection for their new nirvana, I replied, “Pffft.” Then I thought perhaps I should read up on that. Climate change… changes things.

Historically, Maine has been protected by the translucent ant-wannabes by our deep freezing temperatures. Southern Maine has rare occurrences of termites, but they lack staying power.

If this winter is any indication of what climate change does to a jet stream, there will never be another termite in Maine, ever again. Ever. And this guy says that even if someone imports termites, and a colony takes root, that colony should remain isolated: Termites don’t have time to raise a special “go forth and colonize” generation without a long, humid summer. They’ve tried it in Toronto, and failed. The colonizing generation needs wings; the wings won’t grow in Toronto.

So for now, termites are an exotic rarity. Yet another dazzling benefit of our brief, short, and truncated summers.

And if the jet stream does relent, and we do get termites, I would hope that we also get armadillos to eat them. That only seems fair.