To be sold online. Gediman’s Appliance in Bath. Photo: Keenan Auction

You like? You go online and bid. This pretty thing is part of the Gediman’s Appliance liquidation auction in Bath and Lewiston, but a couple other auctions are coming up, as well.

The Gediman’s auction starts online January 16, and will close at 1 pm February 2. There’s a “preview,” or actually a “last-chance view,” January 30. Winners will have to unhook their winnings and haul them away on 3 February.

Included: All manner of floor-model appliances and hoods; from Viking, Bosch, Jenn-Air, Thermador, etc. www.keenanauction.com, under “Equipment Sales.”

Restaurant Thing. Photo Keenan Auction

The Dunstan School Restaurant auction is live and in person, January 14 at 10 am; preview at 8. In addition to a billion coffee mugs and chairs, this Scarborough auction features industrial-size mixers, grinders, shredders, coolers, heaters, hashers, smashers, dicers and whatever this is:

However, Geek Realtor predicts the true bargains, the rock-bottom deals, the almost-free stuff, will come from an online auction of appliances, furniture, electronics, salon equipment, “fire proof wastebaskets,” and even a John Deere tractor currently residing in Vassalboro. Bidding starts January 3; last-chance in-person preview January 16; closing January 19. Whence Geek Realtor’s confidence that this will be the least-contested stuff of the lot?

Vassalboro Vulcan (with cooties). Photo Keenan Auction

It’s a nursing home. Humans are hard-wired to avoid sick humans, and this vague sense of skeeziness applies to items worn or used by sick humans as well. Take advantage of it! The cooties wash right off.